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Details of the Badgers AGM 2011!!!! |
 Badgers at Lunch - 2011 AGM
Tradition of the Badgers AGM is that the after dinner speeches are led by the outgoing captain Chris Knapp, but maintaining tradition, Chris wasn't able to attend this year AGM seeing as he coudn't attend last years to receive his award. But, pre-empting this, Chris had asked Alec Vallintine to say a few words on his behalf. This amounted to 'Shut up Harry'!! It would be interesting to see if this year we couldn't get through the speeches without old Foghorn Leghorn interrupting them at least once. At this point the members were invited to organise a sweepstake for the number of times 'the empty can that rattles the most' would interject during his years speech!! (for the record he was too pissed to say anything at all thanks to the herculean efforts of Richard 'The Funbus' Maggs!) Moving swiftly on and maintaining with the traditions of the Badgers Golf Society, on behalf of the committee Alec Vallintine took the opportunity to thank a number of Badgers. First thanks as ever went to the members for their continuing support including, and especially, those in attendance on the day. It was nice to see Chris Pye, one of our junior Badgers, he must have cleaned his room so John had let him out for the afternoon. Chris was reminded to behave himself or risk being put back on the naughty step. Also in attendance was the Badgers most disliked member, even more so than Marco, Tony Mills. In fact Tony is one of the nicest blokes you can meet, but since he's only being playing golf for less than a year he's made loads of new friends by consistently beating some of the regular golfers in the society. First toast went to Tony, the bandit!! Chris Pye Wins The 'Keep Your Eyes Wide Open The Longest Competition' (we had to do something to keep the youngsters occupied. Next up - Dead Donkeys!!)
Next, glasses were raised to Mark Smith, who at the start of the week had ridden the Etape du Tour, riding what the tour pro's regarded as the Tour de France's toughest section of the 2011 race, 100km with 6000 metres of climb, equivalent to 10,000 feet of climb or just over 13 One Canada Squares. Not bad for somebody who's played rugby you know!! Also here, John Barnes who's been looking for a new job ever since he'd won the Badger trophy at Darenth, given that Lord Smudge has never come anywhere near it. With another tough economic year behind us it was good to see so many willing to take time out from work to spend the afternoon in celebration of the Badgers. As we say every year at the AGM, being a Badger isn't just about playing with your balls, it's about the social side of Badgering too. At the end of the day it is the members society and can only exist whilst it enjoys such good support from the members. So second toast went to all of our members, our guests and our absent friends - to Badgers everywhere and anywhere! Mark Smith - You Wouldn't Want His Ringpiece
Next thanks went to those contractors who have sponsored the prizes at the golf days this year. This is always greatly appreciated as it allows us to keep the costs of the days down for the members and allows Smudger to at least get close to the trophys in name at least - so, thanks went to Alan Ruddy of Ruddy Joinery, John Pye of Simplicity, Steve Brewer of PIP and Mark Smith of Commercial Stone who all sponsored the prizes for our golf days this year. Top badgers. Next, thanks in his absence went to Chris Knapp. Chris has been a worthy Captain, even if the tightwad couldn't be bothered to turn up to any of these lunches. For Chris's year of captain we donated monies to Sparks, the childrens charity. Despite his aversion for lunchs, Chris led by example as Captain, attending every golf day and playing exceptionally well, a point that hasn't gone unnoticed by the Handicap Secretary. However, maintaining another dubious tradition of the Badgers, there was no Captains Day to mark his year of office, at least with John Pye we all got a drink out of him, so for the second year Alan Ruddy retained the Captains Trophy and looks like he will continue to do so until we manage to elect a more generous Captain. So whilst thanks went to Chris, we all hoped that next years Captain isn't such a tightwad. Finally, thanks went to the committee members and those Badgers who helped in the organisation of the days; Michael Healy our trophy Badger who organised all of the trophys, it's the closest he gets to them, Richard Gent for his financial management and organisation of each Badger outing including the AGM, Harry Cutts our fixtures secretary for booking each golf day and Alec Vallintine our Handicap Secretary and WebBadger. The Badgers Vase, the supposedly yearly committee invitational match in celebration of the Badgers Birthday has still to be arranged by defending holder Harry Cutts. This is now 3 years since this competition was arranged, any longer and we'll have to let Mrs Cutts keep the tasteful art-deco trophy. Over the past year membership had risen from 36 to 44, a rise of 8. Attendance at each of the golf days was good with an average of 33 people, up 9 from last year. Of our 44 members, 9 managed to attend all 4 golf days which is more than twice the number of last year. Congratulations went to Chris Knapp, Harry Cutts, John Barnes, John Pye, Keith Ives, Marco Franchi, Mike Stone, Peter Gallagher and Richard Maggs for achieing this feat. 12 Badgers managed 3 days, 14 badgers managed 2 days, and 9 Badgers managed 1 day and in total we scored 3236 points across our days. In respect of the golf itself, overall 109 people have now played on our Badger days as members or guests since the first outing in May 2003 with an average playing handicap of 21, one up from last year. In terms of our ability, last year the average score was 32 off a handicap of 21, this year it was 30 points off 21, still a respectable set of averages and shows the handicap system continues to work. Credit went to all members for playing well and generally playing to your handicaps! Badger day winners this year were Dave Guildford at Cray Valley, Alec Vallintine at Woldingham, John Barnes at Darenth and Mark Doughty at South Essex. With the exception of Alec Vallintine, all were first timers on the winners podium. Congratulations to all in joining this elite club of winners. This year there were 2nd places for Phil Tweddle at Cray Valley, Marco Franchi at Woldingham, Chris Pye at Darenth and Marco Franchi again at South Essex. Many of his girlfriends would confirm that it's not often Marco comes second so credit to the young fellow. 3rd places went to Chris Knapp at Cray Valley, Woldingham, and South Essex, a hell of a feat, with John Pye at Darenth. There were Nearest the Pins for Marco Franchi at Cray Valley, John Merralls at Woldingham, Richard Gent at Darenth and Mark Doughty at South Essex. Longest drives were won by John Barnes at Cray Valley, Malcolm Doyle, a guest, at Woldingham, Chris Pye at Darenth and Peter Gallagher at South Essex. Lastly, team prizes went to Steve Eades, Keith Ives, Mark Smith and Phil Tweddle at Cray Valley, Alec Vallintine, John Barnes, John Smith and Keith Ives at Woldingham, Frank Fleming, Keith Ives, John Barnes and Phil Tweddle at Darenth and at South Essex we had Chris Knapp, Marco Franchi, Nigel Smith and Russell Pooley. In summary, of our 44 members 16 won prizes this year, less than previous years which reflects how the days were been dominated by the same names playing some great golf - Marco Franchi, Chris Knapp, Phil Tweddle and Keith Ives all appeared numerous times on the podium this year. To think, it used to be Sharpie who went home with the prizes and your profit margins, now everybodys go a chance (the Badgers prize that is, not profit, but we can all still be ripped off by Sharpie so keep 'em peeled). Glasses were raised to those who had an excellent year of Badgering in 2010-2011 and better luck to the rest for next year! Next season commences in September with a revisit to Cray Valley, some of the comments received last year were that it was a bit scruffy but it was still better than the piss taking we suffered at Birchwood. This will be followed in November with a visit to Woldingham, in April we return to Darenth before the seasons climax at South Essex in June. The climax of the afternoon was the awarding of the Captaincy of the Badgers for our 2011-2012 season and the awarding of the Badger Captain Trophy. The appointment of the Badgers Captain is designed to award both performance and support of the non committee members, so we simply take the combined total of the scores across the year and divide by four for the number of appearances. As usual, the top spaces were all filled by those who've made it to all 4 golf days so as the saying goes, you've gotta be in it to win it. The average average score was 18 and the placings, in reverse order, were; 44th with an average of just under 5 points; Ian Ferguson Now onto the top three and it's worth summerising at this point the selection criteria we use for the captain - it can't be a committee member and you can't be the captain twice in a 5 year period, this gives everbody a chance to gain this accolade. So, in reverse order, the top three; 3rd with an average of 31.75 points; Keith Ives So, on the basis that Chris cannot be Captain for a successive year, the Captain for 2010-2011 was announced as John Barnes. A toast was raised to Chris for defending his 'Best Badger' status and to John Barnes, Best Badger and our new Captain!! Badger Captain John Barnes Receives The Badgers Head
Other Pictures From The AGM; Bawn & Birdseye - like Morcombe & Wise but less hair and considerably less funny
The food - top shot Babs & Gang!
No Chris, she wasn't the slightest bit interested in you
Smudge gets all peppery. He plays rugby you know
Nobody had told Chris the 'keep your eyes wide open the longest' game had finished long ago, not even his dad
John Pye starts a new game of 'poke yourself in the eye'. Chris would go on to win this game too
Harry Cutts, bon viveur, ranconteur and all round wit. Amazing what I'll write for £50 cash
Mark quickly regrets the schoolboy mistake of leaving his blackberry unlocked on the table while he goes to the loo. Tch , tch, how did that hardcore porn get on there......
The end of another long, messy Badgers lunch
Alec Vallintine commences the speeches......
....and 10 minutes later is still going strong
Badgers showing the strain No. 1 - Nigel 'Bored Shitless' Smith
Badgers showing the strain No. 2 - Steve 'Is It Nearly Finished' Hook
Nice cups
The Chuckle Brothers
The Man, The Legend, The Funbus that is Richard Maggs
Haway and shite man. Taxi!!!
Mark Smith retires early to apply more savlon to his ringpiece
I'm a little teapot, short and stout, I come from Basildon and I'm a lout
Onto Corney & Barrow and The Funbus perfects the 'drinking whilst asleep' trick
Is this my taxi driver? Haway man
Genty nods off midway through another Nigel Smith rant
The new Badgers Captain leading by example. At the bar
Chris toasts his success at being let out later than 8pm, well past his bedtime. Top lad. Now go poke yourself in the eye
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